Ah, television. How we love thee. Well, most of us. While I have but a very few select TV favorites, to be honest, who doesn't enjoy the fashion step or mis-step down the red carpet? As always, I point my fashion-focused lens toward those ladies treading the treacherous waters of the small screen. Eight seemed to be about the right number. Agree or disagree? Elegant or egregious? You decide.
As always, these entries are in no particular order other than my arbitrary whim.
Emmy Winners
Jane Lynch
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Coach Sue Sylvester, in the 19-times-nominated Glee, sheds her usual adidas track suit in favor of this plum-colored taffeta mermaid-cut gown from Ali Rahimi. She wins an award for most dramatic dress departure if for nothing else. The athletic-minded actress scores extra points for accessorizing with a darling diamond shoulder pin from her designer sister-in-law at Doyle & Doyle. All in all, a Glee-ful ensemble indeed.
Claire Danes
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Representing the heroic Temple Grandin in this pink spangled Armani Prive strapless dress, Claire Danes sparkles as a fashion heroine in her own right. Easy and elegant, this gown epitomizes carefree SoCal style, with Claire's golden tresses worn loose and free as the perfect accessory.
Jewel
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Pretty in pink sums up this gem's frothy confection from Zuhair Muhad. The high-waisted bow belt, spangled tiers, and all-matching accessories (frock, purse, earrings) remind us that this is the Jewel everyone remembers as sweet, innocent, yet sophisticated.
Wanda Sykes
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Another Zuhair Muhad gown shimmers in gold on this golden star. A one-shoulder piece tastefully drapes over the curvy actress while alternating bugle beads with matching sheer panels. The lustrous gown stands in startling contrast to the star's hometruth that in America's current economy, she chose to buy her own frock rather than rely on a stylist or on designer donations. Wanda's a winner for sure.
Lea Michele
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Glee birthday girl Lea Michele gamely sampled a red-carpet taste of the PB&J cake-in-a-jar prepared especially for her, despite the Oscar de la Renta pedigree of her midnight-blue ruffled gown. The deep navy is a subtle contrast to the young star's glowing skin, loose hair, and glamourous smile. Not to mention the gothy black-painted nails and borrowed diamonds. If only all birthdays gleamed so bright!
Christina Hendricks
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I'm "Mad" about Christina's Zac Posen option for tonight's red carpet. The cool lavender sets off her auburn locks and porcelain skin to perfection, and the ostrich feathers add froth and fun to this figure-hugging confection. It's enough to drive any man mad.
Kim Kardashian
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Kim Kardashian--yes, I know--Kim Kardashian. Maybe only because the white Grecian-style floor-length Marchesa manages to cover her coliseum-sized you-know-what, I chose this classical gown with its pleats, criss-cross bodice, down-the-back mini-train, and heavy-duty Egyptian-inspired collar. Pulling off this flattering look for the fashion-failure reality-TV star is truly the work of a goddess.
Anna Paquin
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Perhaps Anna's heavily beaded matador-style top takes her to a new level of blood sport beyond her usual vampire-attracting ways. (Hello, bullfighting). Or maybe it's only because I just got back from a week in Chicago sipping sangria and suffering mild sunstroke. Regardless, I tout her toreador togs, courtesy of the late, great Alexander McQueen. Crowning a simple black column dress in satin, this look causes the simmering sangre in me to say si.
Emmy Losers
January Jones
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Might as well start with the first of the month. January's Versace Atelier made unfortunate references to her predecessor's cone-shaped bustier that somehow fell short of the Madge mark. The exaggerated train resembled more of a scaly dragon than the elegant peacock touted during the ceremony. Finally, the '80s cobalt color, blah-black shoes, and overplayed bed-head hair did nothing to help. A resolution for Emmys 2011?
Tina Fey
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The usually stylish actress tried to "rock" this Oscar de la Renta for her award-winning role on "30 Rock." Depite the satin beaded overlay with classical lines and flattering fit, the bizarre hieroglyphic beading left me a bit confused. Translation, please?
Sofia Vergara
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Yellin' yellow? Screamin' saffon? Pallid pink? I had a hard time deciding which color to decide on based on various news reports on Sofia's insipid Carolina Herrera gown. This was an odd choice for the designer--the ambiguous color and binary-code beading left the frock a bit futuristic but flat.
Heidi Klum
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Beaded rosettes on a black ruched Marchesa minidress only serve to render Heidi Klum's once-stunning supermodel figure hopelessly stumpy and thick. This and the spray-on tan, mismatched necklace, and mannish hairstyle add up to not a terribly attractive combination--no matter how much she's encouraged to make it work. Sorry, Tim.
Stephanie Pratt
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Poor Miss Stephanie Pratt. Not only have I not heard of her, but she shows up for the Emmys in a pale satin lilac-colored pillowcase. And a scraplet of black lace off one shoulder to complement the heavy mascara. But that's about it. A Pratt-fall for the young starlet for sure.
Julia Louis-Dreyfus
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As if her infamous a tempo dance and screechy voice on Seinfeld weren't enough. This high-waisted Narisco Rodriguez with its silk crepe panels leaves the comedienne looking short, truncated, and still inept. The tightly beaded bodice makes her oft-acclaimed assets look small and compressed. Can't someone set Elaine and her dance free?
Toni Collette
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Did Toni trudge her way from Australia through La Brea Tar Pits to get to this year's Emmys? Her gray gown looks like it was dragged through layers of mud before making its pathetic way to the Nokia Theatre. The fitted frock did highlight the actress's svelte figure, however. Hopefully a little mud on the Muriel's Wedding star won't weigh down the rest of her career.
Kate Gosselin
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I'm not including Kate Gosselin in No. 8 because she is poorly dressed. In a figure-skimming black Carmen Marc Valvo halter dress with beaded bodice, she looked fine. Better than fine considering how many--and I do mean many--children she's had. I, like others, am wondering why Kate's even at the Emmys in the first place. Hmm, in No. 8 because she spawned eight kids? Maybe. Hardly seems Emmy-worthy, though, but stranger things have happened. You tell me.
Honorable Mention
Betty White
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Yes, perhaps I am late to the altar of accolades dedicated to this august star. At 88, Betty White is the oldest Emmy nominee, with 16 noms under her (loose-fitting) belt and double strand of pearls. In an age-appropriate two-piece rainbow-sherbet-colored chiffon number, Betty radiates and charms like no other at this year's ceremony. May she see many more.
Comment at will. --Daniel Sheldon
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